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              It was a blustery weekend in Muskrat Flats. The wind was conducting a symphony as the poplars bordering the vineyard...

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Customers suck

Ok, maybe all customers don't suck, but something happens to some people when they are put into a position of dealing with someone who is behind a counter. The most common problem manifests itself in a general lack of respect toward the person taking your order. It is believed that he/she is a lowly plebe who, for reasons which are irrelevant, didn't pay attention in high school and is now stuck in a job making about 30,000 less a year than you do. In other words, mind your station, you untouchable fool and git me what I deserve. Finger snapping. whistling. "Hey You!" Crass and shameful behavior. But we have something you don't have. We have, your time to kill. We can avoid your eye contact and not honor your request to cut your sandwich on an angle like your mommy used to. And You deserve what you get. We have have information. And we have the answers to your idiotic questions causing us to wonder where your brain was in high school. Most of our customers are nice and love us, but some of the others, Yikes!

These are real instances stated by real customers.

1) "Hello?"

"Is this the meat department?"


"Good, I'd like to order a strawberry rhubarb pie."

2) Asked of someone who is cleaning a meat slicer with all of the deli products displayed in front of the customer. "Do You slice meat here?"

3) A customer was about to finger a pie, cooling on a rolling rack.

"Be careful ma'am, don't touch that, that pie is still hot!"
"Is it fresh?"

4)"Sir is that cauliflower?"
"No, ma'am, it is stuffed cabbage."

5) Same lady as number 4...one week later.

Pointing in the deli case...

"What's this?"
"That is baked haddock."
"What's that?"
"It's fish."

6) "Is the shrimp in the seafood salad peeled?"

7) In the parking lot in front of the main doors ..."Excuse me, where is the entrance?"

8) "Is there curry in the curried chicken salad?"

9) We have a mechanical donut machine which drops batter into hot oil with a conveyor belt sending them down the line to the attendant who takes them out of the sugar hopper and bags them for sale....

"Do you make the donuts here or do you get them somewhere else?"

As the conveyor belt is dumping the donuts out of the grease onto a mound of cinnamon sugar....

"Are those donuts still warm?

"Are there apples in the apple cider donuts?....cuz I'm allergic to apples."

"Are those donuts fresh?"

Again the donuts are right in front of this guy in a business suit.

"Are there anymore cedar (sic) donuts?

10) October 14..."When do the Christmas trees come out?"

11) At the sandwich board.....

"You don't have sandwiches here, do you?"

Green apple is an ingredient in one of the sandwiches.

"What kind of meat is green apple?"

12) Is that coconut on top of the baked ziti or grated cheese?

13) "Is there potatoes (poor grammar) in the chicken salad?"

14) and the winner...."Can I have a pound of the store baked cheese?"

1 comment:

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